My husband very kindly warned me that we got a baby shower invite in the mail today.
I wrote a few months ago how our friends told us about their pregnancy. It was a nice gesture telling us before announcing publicly, but still really hard to hear in person. Cue the cheesy fake smile.
Honestly, we’ve been avoiding them since their announcement. I’m just not in a place to hear about all the joys of pregnancy and parenthood. Nevertheless, we’re still invitedto a backyard baby-q to celebrate at the end of this month.
Ideally it would have been nice to get a text heads up about the invitation. And it would have been ever better with an understanding that we may not want to attend in light of what we’re currently going through.
But that’s in an ideal world where people understand the emotional nightmare of infertility. Not our reality right now.
So now I feel stuck. The last baby shower I attended was pretty awkward. I held it together but I just felt so out of place. And I told myself that I wouldn’t make myself attend another one.
I was recently having a conversation with my mom about our IUI. I told her I don’t like to think it worked because it makes it harder when things don’t work out for us. She started to chastise me about negative thinking but I interrupted her saying, “It’s my body and my experience. I can feel however the hell I want to!” And I’ve been really embracing that lately.
I decided I don’t want to go. I can feel and act however the hell I want to right now! And I feel like I need to protect myself.
How do you get out of baby related events? Half of me wants to educate our friends on why we won’t be attending (even though they know our circumstances right now). The other half just says to politely decline and send my gift.