Planning for after baby

I’m a planner. Which doesn’t always suit my life being married to a charter pilot. Over the year I’ve learned to let go of fixed dates and plans. That didn’t always work with our struggles to get pregnant (for example: husband missing day of ovulation, missing IUI attempt) and I have a feeling this lifestyle isn’t always going to be compatible with baby either.

My husband and I have had many discussions about parenting. We’re not planning on attempting to have any more children after this. I’ve been trying to soak in every moment of this pregnancy and I plan on doing the same with the early days of infancy. My husband gets called out on flights on little notice and is gone for extended periods of time. We’ve decided there needs to be one parent who is always there for baby. And I know it’s going to be me. 

I don’t mind putting my career on hold for the time being because this baby has literally been years in the making. I worked too hard to get here. I’m planning on going on maternity leave this April and as of now returning to the classroom January 2017. My husband’s contract at work is up at the end of this year so we’ll have a better idea of what will come next for our family. 

There’s also the question of birth control after baby. My first thought is WHY? What’s the point? Obviously I don’t need it to prevent pregnancy.

But after thinking about it, I’m almost leaning toward taking some form of birth control. For the three years of not being on birth control, I absolutely hated that feeling at the end of my cycle. Am I late? Did it work this month?! Only to be disappointed. Over and over again. Although I won’t be temping or tracking ovulation, I know myself too well to think that voice has disappeared. That’s where the vicious questioning of unexplained infertility begins. Why couldn’t/can’t we get pregnant on our own? What is wrong with us? 

I feel like taking birth control is my own way of taking charge of my fertility (or infertility). I’ll know for certain that this baby is and will be our one and only without a phantom dream of getting pregnant naturally. 

But I guess I have a few months to think about all of this. 

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5 thoughts on “Planning for after baby

  1. I have thought about the same stuff as you! My husband travels for work and I am going to be in the same boat as you. I am also trying to soak it all in because I think this may be it for us too. Unless an “oops” happens. I just really want to enjoy the baby we have tried so hard for. The trying to get pregnant was such a stressful time, I’m sure it was for you too! Your plan sounds great!! You do what is best for you and the baby 😉

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  2. The female body is weird. I had a friend who had her first baby with IVF and then had the other two babies with no medical help at all (like her body just needed a jumpstart). I say that to say that pregnancy and fertility (or infertility) is unpredictable. I’ve always been of the mindset that if I’m not trying to conceive, then I’m on BC, but that’s because my periods are the devil (unbelieveably heavy and painful), and BC helps calm that the heck down. And your period could be a lot different after having the baby as well. Just things to think about.

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