The 6 month wait

After our last appointment with our RE, Marcus and I had a big choice to make. Pay for an IUI without insurance coverage now? Or wait 6 months to get coverage in our open enrollment period before moving forward? 

We decided to wait it out. As much as I want to move forward right now, I know we need to wait so we’re not financially and emotionally devastated. We only saved up enough for one IUI, and as much as I would want it to work, what if it doesn’t? We would have an empty savings and be in a bad place knowing we couldn’t do anything else. So we’re waiting. And it sucks.

In the meantime, I’m starting acupuncture and trying to be as healthy as possible. We’re hoping we can make things happen on our own. We got pregnant once in our own. Our doctor said there isn’t any reason why we couldn’t because all of our tests and stats have come back normal. I’m trying to be optimistic. 

I’m also contemplating my career in urban education. This week I was punched in the face by a student. Last week this same student brought a knife to school and said it was “to hurt bad people.” I feel crazy even typing this! I have many students with high social emotional needs in my classroom, but this particular student has so much anger inside of him it scares me. Unfortunately I was the receiver of his anger on that particular day. I was talking with my RE about my job and she said the high level of stress I’m under could be affected me physically. 

I’m taking the summer to really think about my future in teaching. I can’t do what I did this year. I’m physically and emotionally drained. As much as I want to, I just can’t do it all anymore. I’m not going to make things right for these kids. I’m just putting a band aid on their problems that start at home. I need to start taking care of myself too.

Has anyone else felt like stress from their career was affecting them getting pregnant? Or has anyone switched from teaching into a new field? I always joke with my husband that I’m just going to work at LUSH or be a yoga instructor! But then we’re back to our health insurance dilemma!! Oh well, it’s fun to dream…,