41 week update

Really?! Can I just meet this baby already? 

I joked with my husband that the baby didn’t get in there the natural way and I guess he or she isn’t coming out the natural way either! 

Last week on my due date my doctor said I showed no signs of going into labor anytime soon. For some reason my cervix will not dilate. He said it reminded him of women who have had biopsies or other procedures done to their cervix. To my knowledge, I haven’t had any issues with my cervix in the past but being diagnosed with unexplained infertility makes me wonder if there is an unknown issue we could just be discovering. 

Anyways, he said we would discuss the options for delivery at my 41 week appointment, which is tomorrow. He talked about using cervidril and pitocin to jumpstart labor but he said it doesn’t always work. Then there’s a c-section. 

I’m going into my appointment with an open mind tomorrow. One thing I’ve learned from infertility is to not get your mind set too much on one approach and I guess it’s the same for delivery. I want whatever is best for this baby and momma! 

How to have a baby with a pilot

My husband and I have a sick joke that we do things the hard way. It just seems to be a common theme in our life. Our friends recently had their baby boy, who came on the due date. The dad commented “Six good pushes and he was out!” I laughed and told my husband, “Don’t expect it to be that easy for us.” 

Recently my husband has been confronted at work about when this baby was going to arrive. He’s an on call charter/corporate pilot and typically flies more than 20 days a month (including overnight/multiple day trips). His boss made a remark that he thought my husband has been lying about my due date because I’ve been full term for weeks and the baby hasn’t been born yet! Obviously this man knows nothing about babies even though he has two kids of his own. 

All along his company has offered their congratulations and stated they would keep him close to home the month of April. He’s been doing day flights (we call them out and backs) and a few overnight trips. Up until this week it hasn’t been a problem!

There is a notoriously awful client who decided they needed multiple airplanes for an international 2 week trip. Usually, my husband would be stuck with the airplane abroad for 2 weeks. Did I mention it’s to a country that’s currently in a war?! Anyways, the big boss and his wife are stuck taking the plane abroad because my husband insisted he needs to be in Pittsburgh for the birth of his first child. My husband still has to fly the first leg of the flight because of the long flight time so they can switch crews. It’s a complicated schedule with multiple crews in multiple countries with a client who typically shows up late and changes plans last minute and screws everything up. 

It’s pretty much my worst nightmare right now. I have a bad feeling my husband is going to end up stuck in Canada while I go into labor! 

I feel like the stress of his work not cooperating with us just might make this baby come! My mom is coming over just in case so I’m not in Pittsburgh alone. We’ve been waiting for baby to drop and last night I started feeling a lot more pressure down below. Today also is 39 weeks exactly so we’re really getting close to the big due date! 

I’ve always taken pride in my independence being married to a pilot. Heck, I’ve fixed busted pipes and broken down cars when he’s been out of town! But I really don’t want to deliver this baby without him. We worked way too damn hard to get here and he deserves to see his child born too.

38 week update

How far along? 38 weeks 3 days

How big is baby? 19-22 inches, 6.5lbs+

Total weight gain/loss? Not keeping track but I feel great

Maternity clothes? Of course. This belly doesn’t fit in anything else.

Sleep? It’s pretty difficult to find a comfortable position these days but I guess I’m just preparing for lack of sleep for the next few years! It’s all good.

Best moment this month? My last day of work! Last Friday was my last day in the classroom. I originally planned on teaching up until my due date, but a combination of difficult students and pregnancy aches and pains forced me to go out a few weeks earlier than expected. This was my first week of maternity leave. At first, I felt a little stir crazy and didn’t know what to do with myself! But I’ve settled into a routine and I’m accomplishing a lot of projects I wanted to get done before baby arrives. It feels nice to be able to take nap and put my feet up during the day!

Symptoms? Still throwing up. I started having pretty significant Braxton Hicks contractions at about 32 weeks and they seem to be getting stronger. I can feel my hips aching so I hope that means things are starting to happen!

Food cravings? Popsicles.

Food aversions? Everything else.

Gender? We still don’t know! And yes, it’s starting to drive me crazy…

Labor signs? Lots of warm up contractions and cramping. I started getting internal checks and my doctor proclaimed that my cervix “sucks.” Seriously, his words not mine. Although it’s soft, it’s still pretty thick and baby is comfortable up high. He started asking more about the fertility tests and procedures I’ve had done, thinking if I had a cervical biopsy I could have scar tissue in the way. My RE never mentioned anything wrong with my cervix but of course we’re in the “unexplained infertility” box so who knows what the heck is going on down there! Of course this made me freak out a little inside but I’m trying to give baby time to naturally come down. I still have a few weeks to go!

Belly button in or out? Definitely popped. My husband likes to press it and sing, “Ding! Baby’s done!”

What I miss? I can’t say that I really miss anything right now.

What I’m looking forward to? Meeting baby! Finding out the gender.

Milestones? I’ve reached that point in pregnancy where you pretty much feel like a ticking time bomb. I get those daily texts of “sooooo how’s everything going” and the unwarranted advice on how to induce labor. I’m taking the stance of baby will come when he/she wants to come! In the meantime, leave us be!

Bump? Huge.

Planning for after baby

I’m a planner. Which doesn’t always suit my life being married to a charter pilot. Over the year I’ve learned to let go of fixed dates and plans. That didn’t always work with our struggles to get pregnant (for example: husband missing day of ovulation, missing IUI attempt) and I have a feeling this lifestyle isn’t always going to be compatible with baby either.

My husband and I have had many discussions about parenting. We’re not planning on attempting to have any more children after this. I’ve been trying to soak in every moment of this pregnancy and I plan on doing the same with the early days of infancy. My husband gets called out on flights on little notice and is gone for extended periods of time. We’ve decided there needs to be one parent who is always there for baby. And I know it’s going to be me. 

I don’t mind putting my career on hold for the time being because this baby has literally been years in the making. I worked too hard to get here. I’m planning on going on maternity leave this April and as of now returning to the classroom January 2017. My husband’s contract at work is up at the end of this year so we’ll have a better idea of what will come next for our family. 

There’s also the question of birth control after baby. My first thought is WHY? What’s the point? Obviously I don’t need it to prevent pregnancy.

But after thinking about it, I’m almost leaning toward taking some form of birth control. For the three years of not being on birth control, I absolutely hated that feeling at the end of my cycle. Am I late? Did it work this month?! Only to be disappointed. Over and over again. Although I won’t be temping or tracking ovulation, I know myself too well to think that voice has disappeared. That’s where the vicious questioning of unexplained infertility begins. Why couldn’t/can’t we get pregnant on our own? What is wrong with us? 

I feel like taking birth control is my own way of taking charge of my fertility (or infertility). I’ll know for certain that this baby is and will be our one and only without a phantom dream of getting pregnant naturally. 

But I guess I have a few months to think about all of this. 

30 week update

How far along? 30 weeks today!

How big is baby? 15.7 inches, about 3lbs.

Total weight gain/loss? No idea. I don’t weight myself and my doctor’s scale is waaay off.

Maternity clothes? I occasionally squeeze into a pre-pregnancy shirt but those days are limited.

Sleep? Eh. I’ve come to accept that sleep is just not going to happen from here on out.

Best moment this month? My husband recently had a series of overseas flights and was gone for an extended period of time. We skyped and I sent him pictures but it didn’t compare to him actually being home. It was nice to have him home again and baby kicked in happiness too!

Symptoms? Heartburn every single day. Still throwing up (I guess that’s not going away either). Sciatic nerve pain. In general I’m feeling very large. I’ve bumped a few of my students with my belly on accident. They’re at that perfect belly height! Speaking of preK, they are exhausting! Most afternoons I come home and and take a nap.

Food cravings? Cereal. Milk. Those popsicles that are fruit flavored but have veggies blended in. It’s my excuse to eat three at a time.

Food aversions? Tomatoes or very acidic things.

Gender? It’s a surprise 🙂 Every once in a while I have a day where I think I JUST NEED TO KNOW!!!! but then it passes.

Labor signs? I had my first braxton hicks contraction! I was driving home from work when I felt all the muscles in my abdomen tense up and get really hard. It wasn’t painful, but definitely felt weird.

Belly button in or out? Flat.

What I miss? Nothing.

What I’m looking forward to? Our baby shower March 5th. I’m also really looking forward to going out on maternity leave. Originally I planned on April 22 being my last day (due April 26), but I’m thinking about moving my date up. I can’t do the physical aspects of teaching preK anymore and I feel like I’m pushing myself too hard with my 20 students. My long term sub is already arranged and can start beginning of April so I’m thinking we may co-teach for a week or two and then I’m out!

Milestones? 10 weeks left! We take our last class at the hospital March 12th – labor and delivery/hospital tour.

Bump? Large and in charge!


Glucose test round 2

Last Thursday I had my one hour glucose tolerance test… And failed it. 

So I’m currently sitting in the lab for a three hour tolerance test. It involves drinking a super sweet orange drink, 4 blood draws, and sitting in the waiting room for a little over three hours. 

Good thing all those fertility tests and procedures rid me of my needle fears! 

After the test I plan on eating my heart out then returning to work for a half day. This afternoon I get to come right back to the hospital for my 28 week rhogam injection. 

It’s just going to be a fun, needle-filled day! 

I can’t do it all

If infertility hasn’t already taught me this, I’m sure learning it with this pregnancy.

I’m definitely feeling pregnant. I’m feeling the limitations of my body. No matter how I stubbornly insist on doing things for myself, there are things I just can’t do. And I’m forced to ask for help. 

My husband left for a week long flight around the world. Usually I enjoy my alone time and I take pride in my independent pilot wife lifestyle. Yeah, he’s gone but I’m not stopping my life. 

This time is different. I told my husband I have a legitament fear of getting stuck in the bathtub (sciatic back pain is no joke!). We’re also projected to get a massive amount of snow later this week. Instead of busting out the snowblower, I’m stuck inside so I don’t fall on my big belly. I had to hire the neighbor boys to shovel my driveway this week. 

I don’t like this feeling. I hate asking for help. I don’t like having limitations. I’m the type of person who does things just because someone else says I can’t. 

But I have a feeling this is just the beginning. Being married to a charter pilot also means solo parenting for weeks on end. And I think that also means I’ll continue to admit that I can’t do it all on my own. 

24 week update

How far along? 24 weeks and 2 days

How big is baby? 8.5 inches long, about the size of an ear of corn

Total weight gain/loss? Honestly, I stopped weighing myself. At first I weighed myself because I was worried about my constant throwing up and lack of weight gain. But now I feel myself getting bigger, and I feel healthy, so the number isn’t important.

Maternity clothes? I took advantage of sales and did a big haul over the Christmas holiday. My shirts no longer covered my belly!

Sleep? For Christmas my husband bought me the snoogle pillow. I guess he was also tired from my constant tossing and turning at night. All I have to say is that it’s amazing and my sleep has definitely improved! I may have cried the first time I used it because I felt so incredibly comfortable.

Best moment this month? My ten day break from work was wonderful. I haven’t had a break since our IUI right before the school year started so it felt good to just relax for a few days and take it all in. We also made huge progress on the nursery (which I will write an update about soon!).

Symptoms? I experienced my first bout of round ligament pain. Ouch! I almost called my doctor because I thought I gave myself an ulcer from throwing up so much! My heartburn hasn’t been so bad because my husband also bought me sea bands for Christmas. It was just a practical Christmas this year in our house! It’s the best $10 investment you can make if you have constant nausea and heartburn.

Food cravings? Cereal. Trader Joe’s Strawberry Yogurt O’s to be exact. But I’ll suffice with some Special K fruit and yogurt.

Food aversions? Tomatoes. Anything spicy, vinegary, salty, fried, or really sweet. Basically anything tasty.

Gender? It’s a surprise 🙂

Labor signs? No

Belly button in or out? Innie, but quickly disappearing.

What I miss? I missed champagne on New Year’s but juice in a wine glass did the trick.

What I’m looking forward to? Maternity leave from work! hahaha. I have a long three months before I get there.

Milestones? Almost to the third trimester

Bump? Definitely bigger! I finally look pregnant.

2016 resolutions

Every year I make a resolution. It’s more of a mantra for the coming year. It’s something I keep in the back of my mind to keep me going and focus on something larger I want to achieve in myself. 

Last year’s resolution was “gain strength from your struggle.” We had been trying to conceive for two years at the time and just beginning medicated cycles. I didn’t even realize how important that phrase would be to me in 2015. It’s what I told myself through every failed cycle, pregnancy announcement, baby shower, and hurtful comment. I’m going through this and damnit, I’m going to come out on the other side even stronger! 

So on one of our many three hour car rides to visit family this holiday season, I thought about my resolution for 2016. I decided on one word: enjoy

We are so incredibly grateful to be pregnant right now. There wasn’t an easy path to get here, and as I’m discovering, pregnancy can be difficult too. But in my hardest moments I remind myself how hard we worked to get here and how lucky we are to experience this.

So when my head is in a toilet bowl puking, or as I eat rolaids like candy, I remind myself to enjoy this process. My husband and I also decided on our many car rides that we will not pursue fertility treatments for a second child. We’re treating this pregnancy and child as our one and only, another reason to truly enjoy and soak in every moment. I’m even going to try to do a natural birth so I can really experience everything! (Am I crazy?!?!?) 

What are your 2016 resolutions? Do you make a personal mantra?