2 days down, 12 more to go…
The day after my first IUI I felt some major cramping and discomfort. Usually on medicated cycles I feel some pressure and discomfort around ovulation, but this month was definitely more intense. It could have been the IUI procedure or the fact that I had three mature follicles and there was just more going on down there!
I also was extremely bloated 1dpiui to the point where I immediately changed out of jeans into yoga pants when I got home. I had a little bit of spotting, which my doctor said is normal after the IUI. I had to keep reminding myself that everything I’m feeling is normal and I’m OK. I asked my husband to pick up some coconut water on his way home and I started chugging liquids. I feel considerably better today and the bloat is starting to subside.
Physically I’ve been taking it easy the past two days but emotionally, I’m a disaster. I know I should be excited or hopeful or optimistic, but in reality I’m terrified. We have so many people rooting for us right now. We had fantastic odds going into the IUI. But I still won’t let myself believe that this might work.
I think I’m just trying to protect my very vulnerable self in this torturous process of what if’s and maybes. Our families and friends know we did an IUI this cycle and know that we have unexplained infertility, meaning there’s no reason why it won’t work for us. So if it doesn’t work, like every cycle for the past 2.5 years, I feel like people look at us and judge. Judge me for doing something (or not doing something) to compromise a possible pregnancy. Judge me as not healthy enough. Or good enough. Or committed enough. Or woman enough. Or anything!
I know I’m just being really hard on myself right now. And most people in our lives love us unconditionally and don’t judge us or think negative thoughts. The TWW anxiety creeps into my brain and causes havoc!